A little piece about Guide Leaders for World Thinking Day. This was about parents initially, but someone kindly adapted it for Leaders.
POSITION: Girl Guide Leader
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging
permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess
excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and sometimes
24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips
to primitive camping sites on rainy and/or snowy weekends. Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily,
until the next fun activity. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go
from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the
screams from the other end of the room are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social
gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing
to be indispensable until the time comes to move on. Must handle
assembly and product safety testing of a half million "things" made from
fun foam, wood, string, wiggly eyes, feathers, glue and such like. Must
always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume
final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.
HOURS OF WORK: Variable - ranges from 1.5 hours per week to every available waking moment.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is
to remain in the same position for years, dealing with individuals of
different ages at different times, without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can
ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exciting basis. Training
sessions also available, to be taken with a wide variety of people in
exactly the same position you are.
OTHER QUALIFICATIONS - must have a
dining room table to give to Guiding, as well as bookcases, space for
boxes, craft supplies, camp supplies, and other paraphernalia.
AND COMPENSATION: Money-wise - none. This is offset by smiles, hugs and
tears, either your own or those of the people in your charge.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.