Saturday, 1 November 2014

Non-flirting moves the boys make.

I wrote this post AGES ago, just after I started teaching, and after this afternoon's conversation, I'd like to say this is still relevant information when deciding that someone could not pull off any of the actual flirting moves. Also, it's pretty hilariously applicable to most people we know who's name rhymes with Don, even if he is over that stage, though he still likes Number 5.

PS- Spring, 1, 2, 4, 7, 8 and 10 relate to Kill Bill*

In light of the year that was, I wrote a list (not comprehensive, but still decent sized) about the wrong flirting moves boys (men?) make. I'd liked to dedicate this to the original NOR Boys, those hapless fools who try to attract women, and have, on occasion, used some of these moves.

1. Calling a girl 'mate'.
Look, I'm not a fan of sweet talk. It's not me. But you just shouldn't call a girl 'mate' if you like her. Wrong wrong wrong.

2. The "I'll meet you at..." dates.
Boys, this isn't a date, honestly. If you like a girl, meet her whenever she is and take her there. Maybe catch a train or bus if you don't have a car. But don't be the guy who leaves the girl looking like a goober while she's waiting for you.

3. Not getting changed after work, and being proud of your uniform which you've been wearing for 8 hours.
Yes Jon, even you can't pull that off. The line "See this shirt? I IRONED it" is so not hot.

4. Talking about ex girlfriends.
This also includes explaining why your last girfriend/love interest is crappy compared to New Girl. Sorry guys... laaaaame. I so don't knwo why guys do this. Is it because he doesn't want to date a girl like the last one? Most likely. But whinging about her isn't going to help.

5. Playing 'Grab the flab'.
Poking a girl in the ribs is acceptable, but grabbing her belly is not. Just sayin'.

6. Jokes about overweight people. And acne. And cross eyedness.
Let's be honest... most girls think they have some kind of flaw, but of course they're not going to tell you about it. Don't make jokes about it, or other people's issues. That's just not funny.

7. "I talked to my youth pastor about us...."
Really? That's greaaaaaat. *warning bells*

8. BYO Rent-a-crowd.
Here's the problem - there are group dates and there are on-on-one dates. No one likes a surprise welcome party on their first, second or third date. Just not hot.

9. Purple anything.
Need I say more?

10. Bad, bad music choices.
Music is everything when you're driving. Now, I'm a pop princess, a dance diva and a rock chick. There's just some things I won't listen to. Other girls singing (Mark's Delta obsession ring a bell?), songs about... well... sexy tiiiime and anything that Weird Al has done is just an epic fail.

 Like I said... a short list, but a worthy one

*aka Kill Phil 3 xx PPS - you and Steve had to be a liiiiittle bit tipsy to a) come up with that and b) find it funny.