Thursday, 9 October 2014

The pursuit of happIness. But, actually, contentedness.

One thing I have heard through my whole life are prhrase like... long as you're happy
...your happiness is most important
...if you're not happy, no one else is happy
...just be happy that you are doing this that or the other.

All these things are not actually about being happy.

Here are a few things that actually make me really happy. Deliriously.
  • eating icecream and reading
  • fish and chips from Soto's sitting on the lawn at Semaphore
  • Rundle Mall first thing in the morning
  • listening to music in the dark/in solitude/on the bus
  • American Pickers
  • stretching after a tough gym class
  • surprises of most any shape or form
  • handwirtten letters
I can't stay in that happy mode. All of those things are experiences and moments. All the same, I'm not hard to make happy if you have access to such lists. But not everyone does, actually, no one does. Oh, so some people know that these things make me happy, but how I feel about them is hard to explain.

I, of course, have happy moments relating to other people, or favourite activities to do with my friends, whatever. The thing about all my moments and things is that you can mostly plan for them.

You can plan to have a happy moment in a bad day, but you can't plan to have a happy day in a bad mood. And that's where it all goes wrong.

The moments of true happiness are small. No one can stay in that euphoric state for too long. And for the most part, I am what people call a 'happy' person.  But, actually, I'm just bubbly and enthusiastic and willing to try things. This doesn't make me a happy person, but I'm pretty content most of the time. And that's what I want to hear more of - I'm content. In life in general.

 We can't make moments stretch on forever, and so I choose to no longer buy into the happiness myth, in which, if most everything in my life is "good" or at least "right", then I should be a happy person. No. I'm content. I'm happy when I tap into my deliriously happy moments, but content the most of the time. So all this crazy work right now - running around and doing courses and police checks and spending money to make sure I get a job, is not making me happy. But. I'm content that I've been offered something at least. And if all goes according to plan, well, I plan to be happy and celebrate with Soto's.