Sunday, 12 October 2014

Closure.

I've been frantically packing today in the expectation of moving soonish. We filled in our first application last night, but I spoke with the agent this arvo and I have to say, it doesn't look promising.

So then, me being me, I found a whole heap more potential places which might suit us better anyway. I  had forgotten how horrible this process could be. My future job as also been painful. New police checks, new first aid quals, new references. I read last night that it isn't selfish to want what you don't have. I have to agree, though a lot of people would happily debate that fact.

Today I met someone who knows my husband as Steve, who also knows we are moving. It's a relief that it no longer needs to be under wraps anymore, though Facebook is a different story. I sometimes forget that Stephen has a whole life outside of our house and our little world that I don't know a lot about. Sometimes that makes me a selfish person, but I've always been clear that we both deserve and need our own space and time too, because, well, we would both go crazy otherwise. 

Anyway. Closure.

Closure will only come when this is all over. When the house is unpacked and we are both living in the one place at the same time. It hasn't been a bad few years, I'll be honest. It's been good. It has been really challenging too, but enough that I can stand it, and we have both looked at our lot in life and have decided to make it better. I think that's fair.

I will miss Kadina though. I'll miss our garden and our friends and my girls. It wouldn't be right if I didn't, but it also wouldn't be right to stay. 

Goodbyes are tough.i won't draw it out any longer than necessary.