Monday, 13 October 2014

A lesson you really didn't need to teach me.

There's a few problems I have about being surrounded by teachers all the time, and that is, well, what I like to call 'being teachered'. Yes, I just made up that word, but anyone who has had to deal with us educational types know that feeling that somehow a person (The Teacher) decides they will cross the professional/personal line and decide that you have done something WRONG.

Not only does the phrase 'Lisa, I like the way you....' drive me a little bit bananas (as in, please don't patronise me, I have no need to be told I'm a good girl in a whole bunch of words that are stupid), the main problem I have is this: teachers creating teachable moments.

A teachable moment often occurs when something goes wrong and a teacher is like 'a-ha, I will use this to teach little Johnny something, like why you shouldn't litter, or why you need to pack your own school bag,' etc. This works, somewhat, with children, but only up to a point.

Other times, a teachable moment is someone making a HUGE deal out of something you did. As in 'oh, it was really nice you talked to Jack at lunch today, we all need to be friends in this class, etc etc.' Which brings on just as much awkwardness as the Bad Thing You Did Teachable Moment. I get this a lot, and always have, but really, I like spending time with people because I like them, not because I want to be "kind" (a pet hate word of mine right now) or "nice" to someone.

Sometimes, a teachable moment is created. A child is going to fall or fail without your help, and you refuse to help them. Usually this is something like not helping them find a book, or pencil, or checking whether their lunch is somewhere else today. I've noticed though that us teachers who aren't parents are quite happy for kids to struggle for 20 minutes trying to find their pen. Sorry, we can be jerks some times. Then, in high school, how many teachers come to your rescue? Well, none until you almost fail Science (tick) or become really ill and almost fail English and Maths (tick), or then you get halfway through Year 12 and teachers make some great big point how THEY have done all the work to get their students through the year. Get over yourselves, really.

In The Real World (and let's face it, most teachers, I have to say, don't live there), teachable moments are called things like MISTAKES and BAD CHOICES and COULDA WOULDA SHOULDAS.

I'm pretty good at making my own mistakes and bad choices, so I don't really need people to create ways for me to fall and fail miserably, or otherwise. And last night was a classic example. You know what, a little bit of kindness and compassion goes a really long way. Regardless of circumstance. And to be honest, things are crazy in my life right now, but not to the point where I'm sharing in on social media. Even if everything was a-ok, just a courtesy phone call would have been much nicer than the old 'let's teach Lisa a lesson' trick. Because I'm sick of that. I really really am.

I guess, in fairness to my colleagues, not everyone does these things. I'm just feeling stifled and conflicted. It's not that I can't cope. I cope fine. I just don't need people to make mistakes for me to  teach me what "I" did wrong.

More shit I am sick of hearing:

I like the way you... (Just stop. No.)

Use your words. (Crying does not equal words, but I'm not in the best frame of mind to tell you how I really feel, am I?)

You don't think things through. (Back at ya.)

So-and-so said I'm.... (That's great. What do you think? Do you agree? What can I actually do to help?)

I'm so annoyed at whoever, but I'm not going to tell you why. (Good. Then I don't have to deal with it, but also, how could you give me goss and then decide I'm unworthy of listening to why you're upset?)

And last time I did this... (Don't care. Does it apply to this situation? No. Shut UP.)

And when I was overseas... (Oh, please.)

Happiness is a choice. (Sure it is.)

This cost me THIS much money, and this was THIS much money and... (I really need THIS much money, give it to me now.)

Okay, rant over.
Happy Lisa is back.
Apologies if you think this blog is somehow aimed at you, but, well it problably is.