Tuesday, 19 August 2014

A Facebook note about two articles about sex in the context of Christianity and purity pledges. (Yes. It's supposed to be a mouthful.)

I really didn't want to put this on my blog. I mean, it's a blog which gets a heap of traffic from Offbeat Bride. You can Google my blog. So it's kind of public. And this blog, well, when I went to write it, Ithought it would be kind of personal. So, well, I put it on Facebook. Dumb move. I have already prepared my responses to the 'concerned' PMs which may flood my inbox sometime soon.

So I thought this blog would be about me. It actually isn't. I have said enough about my own life and views on this topic to last me a lifetime, so the contents of such a blog only reflect my personal point of view and not my own experience. In short, this is not really about sex. Actually, it's about letting people make up their own mind.

 Anyway, in it's unedited form, here is my note:

Today I read two articles. Both of them are similar views all the same. Both were written by wives who waited until after they were married. But one was written by a woman who had little choice over her choice and was basically forced to pledge her virginity at age 10. The other was written by a woman who pledged her virginity to God, not to her church, family or future husband.

Part of me wants to say they are both right and wrong.

BUT. We are talking about a personal choice here. Who is to say one is wrong and the other isn't? What the first article on XO Jane is about is actually about a little girl who was spiritually abused by those around her.

You can read it here: http://www.xojane.com/sex/true-love-waits-pledge

The second blog is written by a woman who made an informed choice in a setting which was open and honest, and in which sex was not a taboo topic. The only issue I have with this is that, in my opinion, the author of this article doesn't recognize that the author from XO Jane was actually manipulated, unsupported and psychologically damaged as a result of making a purity pledge at 10.

You can read that here: http://www.xojane.com/sex/true-love-waits-pledge

I want to say this in response to such a debate:

Make your own choices.

Just because it was right for you, doesn't mean it is right for anyone else.

You, believe it or not, don't get to have a say about anyone else's choices regarding their sexuality, or over choices they never had the opportunity to make.

God loves you. Really. Cliched yes. True, for sure.